now it is just me

I have sat down to try to write this many times in the past 24hours and each time nothing has really come out but I am sitting down now to try again.

Yesterday I said good-bye to the life I had enjoyed, loved and cherished for these last fifteen months. I will never be sorry for the times I have had with Sean and his family, the experiences and places I have gone. Netball, Slurpees and Cricket are three of the first things that come to mind about the new things Sean and his life showed me.

However, not all good things never end and I realised that whilst I will always love Sean, the love I felt for him now was very different from the love I had felt for the last fifteen months, I no longer saw him as the one I wanted to grow old beside. He was no longer the one for me.

I asked myself so many times, why had my feelings changed so quickly and for that I can offer no rhyme or reason so I did what I knew I had to do. I broke it off with a wonderful guy. I felt terrible doing it, for hurting him and for not been able to offer him a substantial reason other than that it no longer felt right for me.

And now it is just me, no more Sunday cricket adventures. Just me, trying to figure out what I need to do in my life and how to fill my time.

9 Replies to “now it is just me”

  1. Helen,
    It is a very brave thing to follow your heart, when you don’t know where or why it is leading you.
    Some people spend their whole lives not trusting themselves, it is so nice to see you at such a young age
    trusting in yourself instead of following the path of least resistance.
    {{Lots of hugs to you}} niki

  2. Hugs to you. Sometimes you just have to trust your gut / heart and that is what you have done.

    Still dosn’t make it any easier…

    Take care


  3. I’m so proud of you Helen for following your heart πŸ™‚ I’m sure you’ve done the right thing mate.

    Take care of yourself. Hugs to you! xoxo

  4. Breaking up is always tough, especially when the guy you are breaking up with is someone you care about even though your feelings have changed, but you need to do what is right for you. Keeping up a realtionship that you aren’t sure about wouldn’t be fair to you or him. All the best to you.

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