12 days ago

This post has been coming for 12 days. 12 long days. For the last 12 days I have thought about what I was going to type. Each day was variations of the same theme. Change, loss and the future.

13 days ago, I was looking forward to the weekend. I had all sorts of things planned, none of which I can remember now.

Pabbi

12 days ago, my father died. My father, Paul Palsson, dead. He died from an abdominal aortic aneurysm. In the morning when Mum and Matthew left he was alive. By the time Matthew had arrived home from work later that morning, he was not at home. The neighbours saw Pabbi walk into the ambulance. The hospital called, “your father is in a bad way, please come up”. When he got up there Pabbi was gone. After sorting out things at the hospital, Matthew called me. I didn’t believe him. Then I listened to what he was saying. Pabbi was dead.

12 days ago, I drove over to the house in total hysterics. At some stage, I bit my hand in an effort to calm down.

12 days ago, Mum was out bush walking. The bad weather meant they came home early. When I heard Mum open the door, I rushed at her and cried.

12 days ago, I stood beside my mother in a dimly lit room at the hospital, and “viewed” my father. He had no false teeth in, his wedding band was not on his right ring finger. His eyebrows were bushy. His hair was that weird silvery red blonde colour. He was cold but he was my father and he was on a trolley in front of me.

12 days ago, I was in shock. My father was 66 years old when he died. I am 24. There was so much more I had imagined I would share with him.

12 days ago, I sat at the kitchen table with Mum and Matthew and started typing. Typing the words which would form the frame of the eulogy I would give.

11 days ago, I sat across the kitchen table from my Mother and met a funeral director. A man, who was straight down the line and listened to our thoughts and requests. We cleaned. We went to the farm.

10 days ago, I went to work. My mind was in a hundred and one different places at once. I left work and realised that I wouldn’t be going back to work this week. I got home, packed a few bags and went home to the family.

9 days ago, I didn’t go to work. I visited the travel agent with Mum and booked flights. Pabbi and Mum were going to Iceland on June 12. Now Mum and I are going to Iceland on June 15. Margaret and Reg arrived from Tasmania.

8 days ago, Karl and Erica arrived from Iceland. Susan arrived from New Zealand. We finalised the details. Music was confirmed and food was cooked.

7 days ago, we had a funeral. We said our farewells, I read the eulogy. We ate, we talked and more. That night we visited Matthew’s laser lab and learnt all sorts of things about quantum. Erica went back to Iceland to continue her holiday.

Pabbi and our memories, 320/365

6 days ago, I went to the orthodontist and had a bracket repositioned. We went to the farm for dinner and had Susan’s chocolate self-saucing pudding for dessert.

5 days ago, I had apple cake and ice-cream for breakfast. We cleaned, sorted and made stacks. I had dinner out with a friend and her family and then went to see Where the Heart Is by Expressions DC. The dancing and music was powerful.

4 days ago, we went through slides, cleaned, sorted and more. Karl flew home to Iceland, I went home to my place. My home felt so strange after a week with my family.

3 days ago, I went back to work. I went to SES. I brought my flowers home to my place. Ever since, my room has been filled with the scent of lilies.

2 days ago, I sobbed as I ate my breakfast. Work was work and then I went out to dinner at Jellyfish for a birthday of a friend and had the most amazing meal. The fish, the wine, the dessert, all just amazing.

1 day ago, I realised that keeping busy does keep your mind off the matter but as soon as you stop and take a moment, it can hit you. The time between when you turn off the light and when you fall asleep is filled with thoughts. Unlike 12 days ago, 11 days ago and the like, sleep is no longer so broken. My mind happily stays focused for the most part.

Today, I’ve found some words to type.

Tomorrow, I’ll go to work and then it is the long weekend. A long weekend which will see me packing and planning for Iceland.

Life goes on, differently each day. Time will change things and time will heal things.

Lillies and Chrissies

Pas de Quatre

Slippers, 314/365
Slippers, 314/365

Tonight at ballet we learned the one of the steps from the dance below. We had a cracker time in our groups of four firstly getting our arms crossed correctly and then of course moving at the same speed. It was one of the most enjoyable routines I’ve done so far.

What made it even more special was the fact that on Friday last week I watched the Royal Ballet’s 2009 production of Swan Lake as part of the film festival that QPAC presented. Sigh. I think I could watch that over and over again.

tea and fruit

Afternoon tea, 313/365

16:28
Most days of the week I would still be at work at this time.
Not today.
Today is the one day a fortnight I have off.
I work an extra fifty minutes a day to have a day like today off.
One day a fortnight.
Once every four weeks it is a Wednesday like today.
Once every four weeks it is a Friday like it will be in two weeks time.

Today was a home day.
The morning was breakfast and the paper.
The day was some cleaning, some planning, some reading.

Lunch was a salad.
A salad I liked so much I will make it for lunch tomorrow.
And a slice of cake. This cake.
So very easy and will be made many times again.

Afternoon tea.
A mandarin and a pot of tea.
Creme Brulee from T2.
Just the right tea for 16:28
313/365.

This is where I am

296/365.
swoon a new deck table, 296/365

On the deck, sitting at the new to our house table. With my laptop (obviously), a pot of of florally sencha and some grapes. This table is the perfect height. I found the old table a bit too high to type/sit comfortably at. This table will also be great for cutting fabric on as well 🙂 yay.

I can hear a faint din of traffic on Corro drive, the whistles and cheers from the basketball stadium and the sounds of feet fall as people walk through the park.

Today is day 299 for my 365 project. It seems like I’ve been doing this for ages now. Today also marks 292 days till I go to Japan next year with one of the girls. I’m so excited about that trip. We will be away from March 1 to March 15 and will be flying in and out of Osaka. I can’t begin to tell you how excited I am. Oh all the places to explore and visit as well as crafty and cute things to peruse.

Lunch on Lawson's, 299/365

We got a free lunch today from Lawson’s who are running a Lunch on Lawson’s promo across the country this month. We will also be having a free lunch tomorrow and on Friday as well. Today our sandwich came from e’cco and was just amazing. Somehow I’ve a feeling that our sandwiches tomorrow and Friday will also be amazing. Registrations for tomorrow in Brisbane have closed but are still open for Friday. My entire department will be having sandwiches on Friday as they were all quite taken with our lunch today. If you are in Brisbane and would like a yummy free lunch on Friday, register now! If you are in Sydney or Melbourne, Lawson’s is coming to your town later this month.

And on a different note to finish off with. I’m going back to Uni!! I’ve been thinking about it for the last 18mths or so and bit the bullet a few months ago and put my application in for the Semester 2 intake.

I was very excited when I came home last week to this email.

Dear Helen Palsson,
You have been made an offer in the latest QTAC offer round.

When I logged in to to QTAC I saw this.

In the 6 May offer round you have been offered:
413021 Bachelor of Business – full-time or part-time – Queensland University of Technology, Gardens Point Campus
Start Month: July 2010
You have firmly accepted this offer and you will not be considered in any further offer rounds.

and tonight I saw this

Dear HELEN
Congratulations on receiving your offer to study at the Queensland University of Technology (QUT). I hope that you are excited about starting your study at QUT, as becoming part of the university for the real world couldn’t be easier.

Here is to brain stimulation and increased career prospects long-term.

Today is the start of a short week

Today… is Tuesday.

Outside my window… The sky is overcast, hoping the sun will peek out from behind the clouds.

I am thinking… about what to wear to work today. Choices, choices, choices.

I am thankful for… life

From the kitchen… Breakfast is yoghurt with muesli and an apple

I am wearing… my pjs and a very comfy black jersey wrap dress that I found at the op shop which I wear as a dressing gown.

I am creating… photos in my head.

I am going… to work in a short little while.

I’m reading… Tea: The Drink That Changed the World by John Griffiths.

I am hoping… that it is a fantastic week.

I am hearing… the rubbish truck drive by.

Around the house… the kitchen floor needs mopping.

One of my favorite things… is my DIY snowdome that I am moving to my work desk today from my home desk.

A few plans for the rest of the week… a short week, only three work days. Yesterday was Labour Day and on Friday I’m taking a leave day to have a long weekend in the Northern Rivers and to go to this workshop.

A picture to share… Should Coco in the late afternoon, 289/365

I Should Coco in the late afternoon, 289/365
A new bar of soap that reminds me of summer and coconut ice

1, 2 ,3 ,4.

Yep, a while has passed hasn’t it?

Today is Saturday, I love Saturdays. In particular the day time, it is always just a fantastic day to get a lot of things or not much done or of course everything in between.

I’ve just got back from visiting Grandad, he has developed a bit of a cough which is no fun but I would say that that is pretty much the norm at the 10 day mark judging on previous stays. He should be going home on Wednesday which will be great for him, particularly in terms of the ability to get some fresh outdoors air. Got plenty more crochet done, I only have two balls left of the Noro Taiyo that I am using for my blanket. Will have to get some more pretty quickly.

Saturday Morning, 287/365
Saturday Morning, 287/365
I read the Saturday paper in two parts. I read everything bar the magazine, travel and entertainment sections and I save them for Sunday morning.

Sunset Service, 286/365
Sunset Service, 286/365
Yesterday, there was a sunset memorial service in ANZAC Square. Not sure yet what it was in aid of as I can’t find anything on it in the usual sources.

Perfect Landing, 285/365
Perfect Landing, 285/365
Thank you newspaper delivery person for getting the paper perfectly on the steps 🙂 Oh Thank you so much! Most mornings as I walk out the door to work, I survey the front yard to see where the paper has ended up this time. Typically it goes “through” the steps into the garden beneath the steps. If I’m lucky it is on the path but I was super lucky on Thursday morning.

10:19, 284/365
10:19, 284/365
ahh a mid-week day off, taken from my desk looking out to the kitchen and the Mag-Blok on the VJs.

Art in the corridor, 283/365
Art in the corridor, 283/365
Grandad has now been in hospital for a week now, so I’ve been spending a fair bit of time up there -> getting a lot of crochet done, going through a ball every two days.

Toowong War Memorial, 282/365
Toowong War Memorial, 282/365
The day after, the memories are not forgotten.

New suit, 281/365
New suit, 281/365
Herringbone had a fantastic clearance sale in Brisbane the other week and I picked up this most gorgeous suit. It’s called Busby. This is the jacket and this is the pants. I called the store front the next day to see if I could source a matching skirt … unfortunately the design is a season or two ago so no skirt for me :(. In addition to the suit, I also picked up two shirts, a gorgeous cashmere jumper and a belt.

Art in Ipswich, 280/365
Art in Ipswich, 280/365
The Ipswich Art Gallery is a little gem. It is small, it only really has one exhibit space but boy they get some fantastic exhibits.

Vespa choice, 279/36
Vespa choice, 279/365
If I ever had a Vespa, it would have to be in Sienna. That almond ivory colour is just pefect though I think a brown seat would be much much nicer than the black.

Le Bon Choix present
Le Bon Choix present
Almond Croissant with a cup of Autumn Spice tea. A Friday present from my desk buddy.

Fine Lines, 278/365
fine lines, 278/365
Taking a detour via the valley on the way home

Back to the Wesley, 277/365
Back to the Wesley, 277/365
Grandad went back to hospital today for his next round of skin grafts. I am extremely lucky that I live a 2 min walk from the hospital which makes it very easy to visit

Easter Presents, 276/365
Easter Presents, 276/365
I celebrated Easter a few weeks late this year. A Chocolate Crackle base with condensed milk and coconut grass and a handful of eggs all bagged up in a pretty bag with a label.

And that is the last ten days 🙂